Shared Haven
by JeanB
Summary: Whenever Blaise Zabini felt the need to escape the world he went to his little haven. One day someone was already there. featuring Hermione Granger and boy!Blaise Zabini


Title: Shared Haven  
  
Main Characters: Blaise Zabini, Hermione Granger Words: 3166 Distribution: I'd be flattered, just tell me where it goes. Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, did you expect anything else? Summary: Whenever Blaise Zabini felt the need to escape the world he went to his little haven. One day someone was already there. A/N: Finally, my first finished ficlet. Even if it's only a one-shot, it's a great achievement for me. I'm still not really happy with this one but I hope you don't mind. Criticism is of course welcome. This one is dedicated to all the other O&U addicts out there. I hope you enjoy it.  
  
It all started on a late Saturday evening during our seventh year. It had been a rainy day but when the evening came the rain had stopped. The air smelled of earth, wood and water. I loved that smell, it made everything seem clean and fresh, newborn and innocent.  
  
I often went outside to the far corner of Hogwarts' great lake. There was a secluded spot where I could forget about the world and be free. When I had too much to think about or just couldn't stand the sight of my Housemates anymore I hid there and let time flow around me.  
  
No one ever bothered to go that far around the lake. It was a slippery and difficult way. You had to climb over some pretty sharp rocks and rotten, moss covered tree trunks .Thorny bushes surrounded the small clearing. This was my haven, the only place at Hogwarts where I could be myself.  
  
Everywhere else I had to play my role, the sneering, cold-hearted, sly and notoriously menacing Slytherin. I played that role so good and thoroughly that sometimes I began to wonder where the act ended and where I began. The real me. It's been buried for so long that I think it would be truly dead, if it wasn't for this little haven.  
  
You may think that I could simply stop pretending and be myself, but there was a flaw in that logic, Slytherins never drop their mask. Even Malfoy wears one, though I believe that it was already there before he came to Hogwarts, branded into his consciousness by his parents. I doubt there's much of the real him left.  
  
Slytherins are supposed to be cunning, sly and ambitious; there was no room for niceties. If we saw an advantage we used it, if someone wore no mask it was an advantage. I never liked bullying people and I couldn't stand to see someone cry, no, I used the means of a true Slytherin, blackmail.  
  
I did the only sensible thing to achieve my goals and became invisible. Not literally of course. I just perfected the art of blending into shadows. I observed the others and gained information just in case someone needed a little aid to decision-making. Hey, I never said I was a saint.  
  
Being an observer had another upside, only a few people took notice of me and even less knew my name. It's almost funny; when I wore casual clothes most people didn't even know my House.  
  
When I was little my mother let me watch her doing the chores. She always said I was the quietest child she'd ever seen. I never complained or looked bored; I always found something to occupy myself with. I still have that ability.  
  
Years ago I use to draw sketches. I wasn't good at it but I could concentrate on the thin lines and forget the world around me. I don't really know when I stopped. Today I like to bury my nose in a book. Even Slytherins tolerated that. When I am in my haven though, I just watch and think. Even the smallest insects can be remarkably interesting once you decided to look close enough.  
  
That day, when I came to my haven someone was already there. A small sobbing sound reached my ears just before I got out in plain sight. I stopped dead in my tracks. Who knew of this place? I didn't want anyone to know about it, this was my haven. But curiosity got the better of me, after all, people who come to a secluded area to cry usually have something to hide.  
  
I sneaked up at the intruder from behind the bushes and trees. I was just crawling around a holly bush, when a twig snapped and her tear streaked face turned into my direction. Oops. Her eyes were wide, red-rimmed and puffy. She held her wand threateningly in her trembling hand.  
  
I knew her. Hermione Granger, Gryffindors golden girl. No one I'd like to duel with, even in her current state, especially in her current state. I was no wimp but I knew when to retreat. I highly doubted she'd take the sight of a Slytherin well. I barely dared to breathe.  
  
"Who is there?" She took a couple of steps towards the bush. I slowly tried to move back. Another twig broke. Brilliant, bloody wonderful.  
  
"Show yourself!" Her voice wavered a bit and almost cracked. She moved even closer towards me.  
  
I panicked. If I stood and ran, I'd slip, hurt my head and she'd most probably hex me. Just my luck. So I did the one thing that seemed sensible to me at that moment. I transformed. Risky I know, if she saw my transformation and caught me, I'd be in serious trouble. You see, I am an unregistered Animagus. When I started to learn I really wanted to register but after I found out what animal I turned into, I rather changed my mind.  
  
"Oh, hey there, cutie. Are you all alone?" You see what I meant? Cutie? Oh the embarrassment, Cutie, the menacing Slytherin. I think not. "You really frightened me for a moment."  
  
I had an uncle who turned into a yellow canary. I think his real first name was Brutus but they all call him Birdie now. The most hilarious thing was that he is 6'4 and built like a beater.  
  
Granger looked at me for a few more seconds. She even smiled a bit. Then tears began to form behind her eyes once again. She let herself plop on the rain-soaked ground in a very unladylike fashion.  
  
Did I mention that I can't stand tears? So what was I to do? The sensible thing was to go far, far away and leave the girl wither in her misery alone. What ever possessed me to approach her and to nudge her hand, I'll never know.  
  
"Hey little bunny, are you trying to cheer me up?" She smiled a watery smile as she started to scratch my head. Yeah, that's right, I'm a fluffy little black rabbit, got a problem with that?  
  
"You are a very peculiar guy, you know that?" I stilled and looked up at her. Did she know? But Granger just continued to scratch behind my ears. It is really strange to have someone who despises you be so friendly and off guard. No one ever was off guard near a Slytherin, but then again, she didn't know who I was. That certainly held possibilities.  
  
"My friends and I had a fight." She twisted her mouth in a humourless smile. "They think I'm a bossy, mousy bookworm and a spoil sport. They said the way I behave it's no wonder I have no boyfriend."  
  
Now that was an interesting bit of information. So the golden trio had a row. Not enough to blackmail yet, though. She sniffed. "You know what is the saddest thing about that? I'm beginning to think they are right."  
  
Well I had to give it to her, she didn't delude herself. "I'm ugly." Well maybe she did. I wouldn't go quite as far, I mean she was pretty enough for a muggleborn.  
  
"Why do the guys only like me when I dress up like Parvati or Lavender? I got a lot of compliments during the Jule Ball. Took me five hours to dress up like that. I guess I'm hopeless. You are so lucky you are such a cute rabbit, I bet you can get every girl you want."  
  
Ummm, no actually I couldn't but who ever said I wanted to? Granger was apparently believing that everyone needed to be in a relationship. Yeah, sure, I prefer my privacy, I didn't need a snooping, gossiping and appearance fixated dolt, thank you very much.  
  
"I always prided myself to be independent and to be enjoying my freedom as a single. I guess I just didn't want to be rejected or even worse cheated on. But I didn't find any boy particularly interesting then either." She sighed.  
  
Okay, that was more like it. Granger seemed to have a crush and she was afraid to be rejected. Oh, yes, now we're getting somewhere. So who is the secret crush?  
  
"I just wonder how Malfoy knew?" What? She sighed again and then grabbed my fur a little harder. I nudged her arm.  
  
"What? Oh, I'm so sorry, dear, I didn't want to hurt you. It's just that this stupid little ferret is so infuriating." Don't I know it? "It's just a good thing he didn't find out who it was. They'd have a good laugh at me. And my friends wouldn't like it at all. Not that I care what they think right now. Okay, well, I do care, but I'm still angry with them."  
  
Phew, so no one does know; Zabini, today is your lucky day. Blackmail on the untouchable golden girl. And she seems to be sure that her friends don't approve. Priceless.  
  
"It's not that I want a relationship with him. Merlin that thought is strange. But I'd like to get to know him better. He seems to appreciate books and knowledge much more then Ron and Harry do. Honestly, those two will never learn that last minute studying won't help them much." She sniffed again.  
  
"They always complain that I worry too much about our NEWTs and classes in general. I should live a little more. But my marks are important to me. I mean look at me, who am I? Just some ugly muggleborn girl, who happens to be friends with Harry Potter. At least I can show that I have a right to be in this world when I'm good in class. At least I am worth something. Everyone either expects me to fail, because I'm a muggleborn, or to excel, because I'm Hermione Granger. You can't imagine how exhausting that is. I don't want to let their expectations down."  
  
I could understand her. Granger had a major self-confidence issue. I should have known. She's just the type for it. I have no room to blame her there tough. I use my marks to measure my 'worth', too, sometimes. But I do it without drawing attention to myself. It would be quite contra inductive. I use to stutter when I'm under pressure and attention certainly brings a whole mountain of pressure. One more reason to be invisible. No one will notice me, no one will think I'm important enough to be bullied and no one will look behind my mask and find my weaknesses. Pity Granger didn't have the same concept.  
  
"I'm studying every time I can to prove myself and I love it. I'm good at it. They expect that I am good at it. And then I try to help them and to talk them into studying as well. I even made time tables for them and they roll their eyes at me and laugh at me because I am oh so annoying. They much rather play a game of Exploding Snap or chess than listen to me."  
  
Wow, I'd say there's a lot of pent up frustration. Now I know why I didn't make any friends. I almost feel pity for her. Almost. That is all really interesting stuff, Granger but please, give me something I can use.  
  
She smiled wistfully. Her hand softly stroked my back. "I love them though. When they are not intend to be stubborn gits they are the best friends I could wish for. They can always make me laugh and stay by my side no matter what. Well, unless we had a disagreement again. Like now."  
  
Sickening. Seems like someone is a little naïve. Although I have to admit those three always were as thick as thieves. A fairytale friendship. Appalling. Something was bound to go wrong. I always thought it would be a lover's quarrel though.  
  
"I just wish they would understand me. You think I am foolish, don't you?" She looked down at me once again. Her lips curved into a lopsided grin. "You know little one, I almost feel as if you understand me. You're such an intelligent guy. Oh no, don't look at me as if I finally lost it." She laughed. A short, melodic sound.  
  
Yes, I must admit, I thought Granger was a bit peculiar, confessing to a rabbit. Good for me that she did. How fortunate that rabbits couldn't smirk because there'd be no way I could have hidden my expression. No, I didn't think she was crazy. There had been times when I talked to myself. Six years in Slytherin were a remedy for that.  
  
She looked pensive once again. The sad look was back on her face as if someone had switched the light off. "The truth is, I am not right this time. I may study as much as I want, Ron and Harry, even Malfoy are right, no one wants me as more then a friend. I study too much, I am bossy and I can't help it. That's how I am. No guy wants such a girl. They rather want a doll with an IQ of 80 than me. I think some of them are even afraid of me and I don't know why. Even if there was a guy who liked me, I don't think I'd go for it. Maybe my expectations are just too high but I can't change that. I'd rather be alone."  
  
I had the feeling that Granger was about to cry again. She still had a wry smile on her face but her eyes were beginning to water. I climbed up her thighs and prodded her belly. No, I'm not perverted. If I was I'd nudged something else. It worked though. She came back out of her reverie and watched me.  
  
I stared into her eyes and dared her to go on.  
  
"You are right; there is this one guy that I find interesting." I cocked my head. She let out a short laugh. "No, that can never be. He despises me, I'm quite sure of that. Even if he doesn't, his House does."  
  
Now that was something new. There was only one whole House that despised the muggleborn and that was Slytherin, my House. Who would have thought she had it in her. Curiosity didn't even begin to describe what I felt.  
  
"It's just how he always seems to have his nose buried in a book. He almost seems to me a misplaced Ravenclaw. His grades are almost as good as mine. If he talked in class I'm sure he might be even better. He doesn't talk though. He doesn't talk at all. I have never heard him utter a single word. It is true, he doesn't look any friendlier than the rest of his Housemates but I've never seen him act upon it."  
  
Okay, a bookworm Slytherin who doesn't talk, looks menacing but has never harmed anyone. Dream on, girl. There are no puppy snakes.  
  
"I know that type is even more dangerous than the bullies. They are the knowledgeable ones, those that can harm you with what they know about you. They can destroy you." She shook her head, slowly. "I never liked playing with fire. I won't start now. But I must admit that he has somehow managed to intrigue me. He's such a mystery and I'd love to solve it."  
  
Really, Granger, falling for a Slytherin is a very crushing experience, especially for a muggleborn. There is not one snake, I know of, that won't shatter your mind if he knew, especially the knowledgeable ones. I sat down on my hind legs and stared at her.  
  
"Yes, I know it's crazy and I would never act upon it." She sighed again. "Ron and Harry would probably beat him up if I did anyway. They'd be convinced he'd hurt me. I can't say they are wrong there. It's not that I can't take care of myself they are just so damned overprotective. I am really grateful I have no brothers at home because these two are quite enough."  
  
Her face was lit up once again. She was right, of course. Both of her best friends would beat up every Slytherin that made a move on her. And really, I couldn't blame them. I knew how it felt. I had a sister myself. She's five years older and I still had the urge to supervise every bloke that came near her. Even now her husband becomes very careful when he is around me.  
  
"But they can't forbid me to watch him every once in a while. He has such a peaceful look on his face when he is lost in his book. It is adorable how he always chews on his lower lip if he has problems solving an Arithmancy problem. I have even seen him laugh once. A genuine laugh, when he thought no one else saw him. His eyes had sparkled like blue sapphires."  
  
Oy, Granger, you have it bad. But I can't understand how that bloke of yours survived that long in Slytherin. I mean, if a Gryffindor noticed how he showed emotions, Slytherins must have noticed that, too. I don't envy him. Might as well get some blackmail material on that guy.  
  
Granger looked to the western shore of the lake. The sun was already beginning to set. "Thank you, little bunny, for listening to me. I really needed that right now. I'd better get going now, before they sent search parties out to find me."  
  
She set me on the ground next to her and began to walk away. She'd only taken a couple of steps when she turned around and faced me again. "Somehow you remind me of him. His hair is as black as yours, if only a little longer." And with that she finally turned away and made her way back to the castle.  
  
I sat there for a couple of minutes, stunned. Long black hair? I transfigured back and absentmindedly slid with my fingers through my own hair. It was black. I was the only seventh year Slytherin with long black hair and blue eyes who loved to read. I was the only silent snake who spent almost as much time in the library as Granger. It stared down the path she had taken. She'd been talking about me.  
  
She never came back to my haven and I never used this little bit of information. I chose to forget it. Hermione Granger had a crush on me. No, that just didn't sound right. I didn't feel right. She shouldn't even have noticed me. She should be blissfully unaware with Potter and Weasley. I should be blissfully unaware. As if life at Hogwarts wasn't twisted enough.  
  
Still, every time I saw her, this conversation comes to my mind. I remember her hands stroking through my fur and her smile that was directed at me. I avoided her ever since.  
  
fin 


End file.
